Marijuana detox – flush !

2014-12-16 07:23:19 | Posted by berkoadam Berkowitz
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I am pro-marijuana, but unfortunately, there are many who disagree with my position on puffing. One is the US Military, and another might be your boss. As an unfortunate consequence, drug testing is a reality with dire consequences.

Picture this scenario: You and a friend have just harvested a rare Afghan sativa that you raised since it was just a tiny little seed with the cutest little hint of a white root just sticking out of its dry, brown husk. Such an occasion requires a beer and a celebratory puff or two (or ten). Your achievement duly toasted, as are you, you slurp down a quart of Ben and Jerry’s finest, and put yourself to sleep. Since your physical reality presently exists in Colorado, your conscience is clear, since cannabis is free and clearly legal in the 38th state. Suddenly, your phone wakens you before dawn. It is your boss, Admiral Whosinutts, calling to tell you that the aircraft carrier is in a tight spot and they need your finely honed piloting skills to get them out of a jam. You jump out of bed, rising to the call of duty, but suddenly remember the nefarious urinal with the siren attached that stands guard at the entrance to the nuclear powered ship’s pilot house. You must pass a pee test, and given your intake of the last twenty four hours, this will clearly not happen. Not to worry! You reach into the fridge for your last bottle of FLUSH!, the cherry flavored super-cleansing stoner savior, and suck it down. You stride out the door, save the carrier from running aground and spewing nuclear waste all over the beach teeming with seals, and the admiral never suspects a thing.

I may be a little dramatic, but testing for marijuana is a real thing and it poses a sticky problem for many law-abiding citizens. I am certainly not recommending that people operate heavy machinery, cars or aircraft carriers while under the influence of any mind altering substance, however  there is a prickly dichotomy that exists precisely because of recent legalization. There are many reasons to detox. Given the toxins floating around and injected into our food, many desire an occasional cleansing. I sometimes wish these products were available at the exit of fast food restaurants.  In any case, pot smokers find themselves in situations where they need to detox in a hurry and products have been developed to help them do just that.

Let’s first understand the process. Getting stoned is what happens when, in one way or another, you ingest THC. After your body is finished having fun with the THC, it has a bunch of metabolites floating around, kind of like the mess that’s left over in your living room after a party. Urine tests check for these metabolites. Detoxing can either flush your system, getting rid of these metabolites, mask them, or lower their strength and concentration. They may also contain essential ingredients that your body will lose through the detoxification, such as creatine monohydrate and riboflavin. There are many natural herbs and ingredients that detoxify such as Niacin, Echinacea, Guarana seed, Milk Thistle seed, and Purpurea leaf. Many of the detox drinks also contain elements to make the color of your urine more natural for the purpose of passing a urine test.

It should be noted that blood tests check for THC in the blood, which decreases faster than metabolites pass from the urine. Blood tests are used to check for more recent use, though urine tests are much more common. For someone who is not a regular user, the THC levels in the blood would be undetectable within two days. If a regular user stops smoking, THC will still be detectable in his blood system for a month. Regular users will still have detectable levels of metabolites in their urine for up to 46 days, and sometimes longer. THC is soluble in lipids, meaning it is absorbed into the fat cells of your body. More fat means more time to detoxify. For people who need to be very sure of the results, home testing kits are available. Less common is saliva testing, which only detects marijuana use in the last few days. Hair follicle testing is even less common, because it is expensive. It does, however, produce results that detect usage for several months.  It is common for casinos to use this testing method on employees that have sensitive positions.

There are several ways to detoxify. The simplest is to stop smoking and wait. For those who are pressed for time, there are diet and exercise regimens that are recommended, that include going to a spa and sweating it out, drinking lots of water to dilute the results, though over dilution will be detected in a urine test and will usually lead to further testing. If you choose to use the dilution method, it is suggested that you drink as much water as you can bear, and pee at least once before the test. Eat red meat and take B vitamins to raise the level of creatine and so the results do not look diluted.

There are many detox kits and products available online. I cannot vouch for or against them, though many do use variation of the techniques I mentioned above.